I was inspired by reading somebody else's fitness blog she linked on her FB.... I do not want this to be that public, at least not now, but I need a better way of being held accountable so I decided to give this a try.
My original goal was to compete in the Monster Mash at the end of october. It became apparent that I wouldnt be ready. and I think i was working out the way i needed to, but my diet is off.
its 30% workout and 70% diet. and since i SUCK at the diet part, i will not be able to reach my goal unless i get my shit in check, foodwise.
I just have no self control when it comes to food, and Im not sure why.
i do know that when i am upset/mad, i tend to eat. it almost feels like i WANT to sabotage myself... like im angry while driving then i see a wendys... then i dinf myself thinking "i should just fucking go get some cheeseburgers and totally fuck my day up", knowing ill feel incredibly guilty and regret it later.
then some of it is just because i know food is there so i want to eat it. thats why i cant keep peanut butter around. i will eat a whole jar in a week, just by random spoonfuls. just because i want it.
i need to develop better self control, and i know that, i just dont know how. le sigh.
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